yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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