Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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