We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it hurts more in the daytime
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
