are you still at the devil's house?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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