I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she pinky promised me she was 18
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
