just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
