well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
