apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
