Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
