so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
