marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
