I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
