Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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