When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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