I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
