The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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