Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
