We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
