Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
