you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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