What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
