:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
