So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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