Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
