I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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