Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
