he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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