Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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