nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
