loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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