I just pynch a tree in the face
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
