Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
