it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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