i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize