when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
