The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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