The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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