Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
