I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
