If i come over, it means nothing
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
