Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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