help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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