bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
