i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
