wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
