I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize