he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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