I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
