pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
