I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
