I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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