the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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