my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
