careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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