He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
