Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
