The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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