so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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