Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
