Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
