why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
