I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
