Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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