Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
