What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
