i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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