I cannot find my penis.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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