If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
