I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
