i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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