I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
