He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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