and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
