Your face is a jimmy john
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
