I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize